Wednesday, August 22, 2007
New...
New scary word : LindaUh-huh.. that's Jeroen's long time friend on the net, and they had this thing going on for a while back recently, which he says was over but that he didn't have the heart to tell her that he didn't want to continue anymore because she was the kind that was feeling depressed and sucidal. Anyway it IS now over between them, and they are back as just friends... I'm just wondering, what if she visits him one day, and they decide to "try it out"? Jeroen says that's almost impossible, but you can never know, can you?Besides, they have been friends for 4 years, and I only knew him for a couple of months.. where do I stand? What if one day she decides she cannot be friends with him unless they are together? Would he choose to be with a friend that stayed with him for 4 years over me?He got frustrated the other day because I brought her up again... later when we both chilled out some, he told me he only got so mad because he felt I was trying to find a reason to end the relationship with him, and he's afraid of that happening. I guess in a way I was trying to make it happen, so I can turn around and say "See I knew that was going to happen!". I guess that's really screwed of me. Maybe we are both scared of screwing this relationship up.It's the way he seems to care alot about how things are going to affect this relationship that touched me. He declared the Marco Polo restaurant in Amsterdam "our place" because we both had a good time when we dined there, and that 7th April is our official anniversary date. How many guys will bother with things like that without prompting from their girlfriends? He's so special that I am afraid he's not for real.I feel so blessed each day knowing that he's mine.Let's just pray I don't screw it all up.
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3 comments:
well honey, like you keep saying.. you won't know what will happen. like will they get together? be friends? leave you? turn gay? jump off the empire state building? get raped?or you meet another guy here? your mom matchmakes you? or you decide you prefer men 10 years older than you?so many what-ifs. you'd drive yourself nuts if you keep doing that. i should know coz i'm like that too. but what you know FOR SURE and FOR NOW is that he's yours and he wants you. enjoy that moment. don't give him a reason to even doubt that*hugs*
Hey, that "turn gay" comment.. kinda funny cos he mentioned a couple of times that he doesn't know if he doesn't like men, because he said that he can admit sometimes if a guy is attractive, although he never held any hot feelings for one, but he hasn't ever tried to or had the "chance" to before. He did stress though he would at most be bisexual, if at all, and never really just gay. I was like, maybe you should find out for sure? but then again do I really want him to find out? What if he does it and realise *eep* that he likes men better???? *freaks out*You are beginning to sound like him too, with that "what-if" thingy.. please don't scare me like that.And how do you do that damn bold thing???
hehe i'm a professional unpaid what ifer
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