I ...

I feel like I am a yo-yo and my string's tied to Jeroen's finger cos he can make me feel up or down with his actions. I think that's not good, so I am trying not to be so controlled by my feelings for him. *nods firmly*I got my webcam installed!! Yipeeeeeeee!!! ;)

He doe...

He doesn't love me, it shows obviously. Hate him. How could he switch off so fast.. maybe it was just all fake.

New...

New scary word : LindaUh-huh.. that's Jeroen's long time friend on the net, and they had this thing going on for a while back recently, which he says was over but that he didn't have the heart to tell her that he didn't want to continue anymore because she was the kind that was feeling depressed and sucidal. Anyway it IS now over between them, and they are back as just friends... I'm just wondering, what if she visits him one day, and they decide to "try it out"? Jeroen says that's almost impossible, but you can never know, can you?Besides, they have been friends for 4 years, and I only knew him for a couple of months.. where do I stand? What if one day she decides she cannot be friends with him unless they are together? Would he choose to be with a friend that stayed with him for 4 years over me?He got frustrated the other day because I brought her up again... later when we both chilled out some, he told me he only got so mad because he felt I was trying to find a reason to end the relationship with him, and he's afraid of that happening. I guess in a way I was trying to make it happen, so I can turn around and say "See I knew that was going to happen!". I guess that's really screwed of me. Maybe we are both scared of screwing this relationship up.It's the way he seems to care alot about how things are going to affect this relationship that touched me. He declared the Marco Polo restaurant in Amsterdam "our place" because we both had a good time when we dined there, and that 7th April is our official anniversary date. How many guys will bother with things like that without prompting from their girlfriends? He's so special that I am afraid he's not for real.I feel so blessed each day knowing that he's mine.Let's just pray I don't screw it all up.

Final...

Finally had a talk with Jeroen. He says he loves me!! I don't know what else to write.. I'm just in pure joy. We both know we are going to be apart, but both wants to try it out at least. He says he has no problem with commitment at all..I'm in a state of disbelief still.. maybe I will believe it when I hear him say it to me face to face. *sighs happily*

eeek...

eeeksI have the same problem now... I can't see anything being updated after the 20th entry!!

I...

It snowed... I can't believe it. I woke up real cold and went to the bathroom, then I washed my hands and the water was freezing because it wasn't warmed up yet. And I was bitching to myself about the cold, thinking bitterly that I won't be surprised if it's snowing, and looked out of the window. SNOW. Everything was covered in a layer of it.I tell you, weather hates me. It does everything to make me miserable *sniffles*